


Sentimental lady

by Terfle



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F, Motherhood, Nostalgia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 19:46:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16817245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Terfle/pseuds/Terfle
Summary: Bernie & Serena hear a song from their childhood and reflect on motherhood





	Sentimental lady

**Author's Note:**

> Lyrics from the song 'Sentimental Lady' by Bob Welch

Bernie traced the scarred dots across Serena’s upper back with a gentle fingertip and wondered, not for the first time, how a mother could do that a daughter. She said as much to Serena but there was no comprehensive answer.

**_Cause we live in a time  
When meaning falls in splinters from our lives_ **

‘She didn’t know what she was doing.’

Bernie shifted her impatience aside with the knowledge of Adrienne’s condition. She hated the thought of Serena on her own against an ailing mother and refusing support until the worst happened.

‘If I had known that I would be stuck with her for nearly three more decades I would have wished for her to go and my father to stay’ said Serena, half joking. Bernie watched her twist the pendant of her necklace again. She always played around with it and now Bernie knew why. He had given it to her soon before his untimely death and she only took it off when necessary. Edward had never understood but then he wasn’t fully mature at 21, unlike Serena. She didn’t talk of him often but Bernie knew that was an ache in her heart for him that reared its head sometimes. She was far too much like him, a grumble Adrienne had repeated over the years. Bernie thought that if she’d had a mother like that, her patience wouldn’t have lasted as long as Serena’s. Thank goodness she was so like her father.

‘Sometimes parents do things you don’t understand. You said you didn’t always understand why your father was away for so often. And you never speak of your mother.’

‘I never knew my mother. She died when I was born.’

Serena shot her a look of sympathy.

‘I’m sorry that you had to go through that.’

Bernie shrugged.

‘Well I didn’t feel it at the time. My father had to deal with it.’

‘Well you did, just as much. You must have felt as if something wasn’t quite right. Especially when you had Cam and Charlie.’

**_And all of the things that I said that I wanted  
Come rushing by in my head when I'm with you_ **

‘I didn’t do a very good job of mothering them. I guess I didn’t know how to be a mother.’

‘I doubt that very much.’

‘Too much like my father I suppose. Transferring from post to post and placing more importance in work. I felt lost when I had the kids. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. I felt so restless.’

‘He taught you the work ethic he was familiar with. Neither of you were to know how it would work itself out.’

**_Sentimental gentle wind  
Blowing through my life again_ **

_  
_ ‘I haven’t heard this song in years.’

‘Same. We must have been teenagers.’

They thought back to the land of children, when the world was new and sunny. Where bad days didn’t have haunting consequences and the little things felt precious, the only things they would need in that moment. Moments that their children learned without them. Two mothers united in a momentary yearning, Serena for what was lost too soon and Bernie who had never known what it was to have it in the first place.


End file.
